• Fall Out Boy. I mean, who hasn’t accidentally on purpose sent nekkid pics of themselves to every damned person with an Internet connection? I hate it when that happens.
• Kit Kat Bites. Just because something’s as, er … compelling, let’s say, as the pipe doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing.
• Celebrity gossip. These guys say it better than I ever could.
• Ellipses. You know, … , which I (over)use all the time. Hmm … my rationalization? They’re less harmful to society than kiddie porn?
• Murder, She Wrote reruns. Millions of people over 65 can’t be wrong.

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• “Down on the Corner”
• “Hey Tonight”
• “Have You Ever Seen the Rain”
• “Up around the Bend”
• “Travelin’ Band”

Now this in no way is meant as a disavowal of my burgeoning love for “SexyBack.” A guy who goes around singing like a girl in front of god and everyone’s bringin’ something heavy. You can be sure of it.

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