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Monthly archives for March 2007
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Is That a Clammy Reptile in Your Pocket or Are You Happy to See Me?
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I'll See Your Cigar, Dr. Freud, and Raise You a Bowl of Steaming Hot Grits
The other night I had a dream that I was with a South African friend of mine and we bumped into none other than Polly Holliday … better known as Flo from Alice. Obviously, I was to-hotally psyched, but my friend had no clue who Flo was. I wanted to give her a glimpse of the amazingness of Alice, so she could share in my glee at this chance encounter. To this end, I kept asking Polly/Flo to say “Kiss my grits!” … over and over and over. Craziest of all … she did it.
Where would I look in the encyclopedia of dreams to get to the bottom of this? Grits? ’70s sitcoms? Catch phrase addiction?
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Genuine Post: This Is Not a Test
Several months back, my brother and I were joking around about starting a blog that specialized in pictures of dog pooh. Not just my dogs’ pooh, although it probably was an Abraham Lincoln–shaped turd of one of my dogs or something that got us on the topic in the first place. Anyway, the idea was that people could send in pictures of their dogs’ crap, and we’d post it on the blog. I can’t remember really if we imagined it as a commentary on how many obsurd blogs there are out there … blogs that probably get shitloads (no pun intended) of traffic (not that I’m jealous) … or what exactly our imagined mission statement was to be. Alcohol may very well have been involved in our musings.
We did not follow through with the plan, needless to say, and that was the last I thought of TheMagnificentWorldofDogFeces.com. Until the other day when I saw this site devoted to cats, in particular, a long post featuring pictures of wet cats.
I realized immediately, of course, that my brother and I have probably missed the opportunity of a lifetime. If there’s a market for wet cat pictures, there must be a market for dog shit pictures. I’m sure the folks at Gawker are all over it by now.
Note: I am in no way comparing warm, cuddly kitties to warm, stinky dog crap. I quite like cats. Not enough to have any, but I like them all the same. Crap, on the otherhand …
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Name's Kirsten. I'm a splitter of hairs, a hillbilly, a rock horns devotee, an ellipses-lovin' fool, and queen of the conceptual jinx. I'm also a geek and the grateful human of littleblackdog. I do this and that and some of the other … up to and including writing this here blog.
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cheese for dinner by kirsten k. hammann is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
SuperMini by unnerkrunt and nocreativity.