When you discover that Cartboy did not just graduate from your local neighborhood Ivy League college, as you initially supposed, but rather the high school down the street. Doh!

God help me, I know this won’t stand up in court, but there were no dudes like this in my high school.

Still, in spite of the inherent risks, my cohort Em Em and I are still looking for someone to draw this ill-conceived adventure. If you can draw and don’t mind small, confined spaces too much, drop me a line.

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As we all know, “the penis is a very powerful organ” … it’s “a heat-seeking missle,” really.

But, wait. It’s sooooooo much funnier when this lady says it.

The look on that other woman’s face in the cutaways is fucking priceless.

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I’m often asked why I’m still single, what with my enormous brains and slammin’ bod and all. Like most questions worth pondering, the answer is not simple. But for those of you out there who know someone whose single-ness you just can’t wrap your mind around, here’s a glimpse at what we’re up against.

Thanks to Pascale for adding me to her FFFL (Fucking Funny Forward List).

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When it culminates in a comic book graphic novel called The Adventures of Cartboy, that’s when. First episode: “Cartboy Gets Mad Ass.” Stay tuned.

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