5 Sure Signs of Toolage
- Doing triathlons. I don’t have anything much against endeavors of an athletic nature. In fact, I can offer you nothing in the way of an epistemological explanation for why this is so. And yet, next time you meet someone who does triathlons, 100 to 1 he’s a tool.
- Using the Jack Bauer ringtone on your phone. You’re a bad ass. We get it. If you weren’t so busy with the urgent business of designing data schemas, you’d be busting skulls somewhere on the gritty streets of L.A. Your authentic lightsaber replica says it all.
- Having a vanity license plate. There aren’t an awful lot of things I consider deal-breakers for being part of my in-crowd. Having a vanity license plate is one.
- Following bots with cute profile pics on Twitter. No, she doesn’t really like WoW. She’s not tweeting in a wife beater and hot pants, nor does she wear her hair in pig-tails. Following her won’t make it so.
- Wearing a poncho over street clothes to a Halloween party and calling it a costume, then using your “costume” as an excuse to talk to chicks about the plight of indigenous cultures. I mean, ya know, hypothetically, ’cuz this never happened to me. Even if I cared about the plight of … anyone, which I don’t, it’s a party, dude. You wanna get in my knickers? Lose the poncho, get me a drink, and … oh, yeah … you’re not getting into my knickers.
[Ed. Those things are awesome IRL.]
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- What other people said:
- #1 chris
It just makes my day when you bag on the types of men that disgust you and I don’t fit the descriptions.
- #2 Crash
Me too!! it lets me know that I’m not turning into a tool…or would that be back into a tool…..???
- #3 ULMEDAS
Sorry guys, but this is only a list of signs that you are a tool. The converse is not necessarily true (i.e., if you do not fit the description(s) above, then you are not a tool is not a true statement in the system based on the axioms of men by CMGU)
HoHum.
- #4 Crash
Oh, my bad.
there is however no doubt that I am a “recovering” tool, so maybe this list at least lets me know what to stay away from?!?!
- #5 Ms. Monkey-Gurl
I’m a little surprised, frankly, that my thoughts on tooldome carry so much weight. I thought it was pretty much understood that if there were an equivalent list aimed at skewering women, it would describe me to a T.
I appreciate the generosity, guys. You rawk!
- #6 cheese for dinner » Blog Archive » This Day in History
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Name's Kirsten. I'm a splitter of hairs, a hillbilly, a rock horns devotee, an ellipses-lovin' fool, and queen of the conceptual jinx. I'm also a geek and the grateful human of littleblackdog. I do this and that and some of the other … up to and including writing this here blog.
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